Chapter/Story #22-The Lives of the Dead

The affect of stories on Tim O' Brien is amazing. They can make the dead come alive again for him. I think stories would have a bigger affect on everyone if they read this book because not everyone views stories in this way. They provide us with the power of memory and the power to relive moments. Almost everybody misses their childhood and stories can help us go back and reminisce about those moments. Its crazy how the guys in the platoon had the ability to have a sense of humor and shake a corpses hand. This is a good way to approach death in a war and it shows their coping abilities. Humans have to adapt to different situations and that may cause some to do whatever it takes. I found O' Brien's love for Linda amusing and he does say a true statement about how elders always dismiss love between younger people. Certain people may not look at Linda and O' Brien's connection as love but love is different for everybody. Its amazing how his stories of her can take him back to when he was nine years old. I hope my memory is that good when I get older. I did not know that Linda would eventually die at such a young age, its a sad story. But I'm sure her death made O' Brien's memories of her more strong and significant. O' Brien's stories are fuel that motivate him to keep living and he makes them more special because he records them in this book. Almost every story seemed true to me as I was reading this book but that may be because I got the emotions out of all the stories. I really did enjoy reading this book and I'm glad it showed a different point of view of war. I kind of didn't belive you, Clary, when you said this book wasn't your typical book about war. It makes me appreciate stories and the struggles that soldiers experience in war more.

Chapter/Story #21-Night Life

Its amazing how the war drove Rat Kiley so crazy but its also understandable. His thoughts seemed liked they could've never been thought of, its hard to explain them. The "night life" seemed like it was scary because a lot of humans already have this big fear of the dark so its hard to imagine operating at night time every night with no sense of direction and mostly silence amongst the soldiers. War is capable of driving your mind into an insane state. I can't imagine thinking the way that Rat Kiley did. This book is helping me understand the difficulties soldiers face in war but its not hard to understand how they're dealing with it because they're forced to. Anyone would find a way to cope with it if they don't want to die. The land of Vietnam even forces Rat Kiley to think that the bugs are after him which is incredible. That whole piece of land was considered the enemy. Its like Kiley could already see his death coming, he already pictured the corpses of people who were alive. That's insane.

Chapter/Story #20-The Ghost Soldiers

This story really shows the kindheartedness in Tim O' Brien and how he is really not meant for war. When him and Azar try to mess around with Jorgenson, O' Brien tells Azar to stop after a certain point and is horrified on behalf of Jorgenson. I think Azar did take it too far, and so did O' Brien. When he got shot and Jorgenson tried to heal him, he was brand new. I know O' Brien was facing death but he should eventually learn that brand new people in the military make mistakes all the time. I'm sure O' Brien made a mistake when he first came in the war. I found the scene when O' Brien talks about his gunshot wound disgusting, the imagery actually brung the scene to life unfortunately. I found the following statement true: "the presence of death and danger has a way of bringing you fully awake". This statement was stated earlier in the book but worded differently. Its easy for me to understand this somehow even though I haven't had any personal experiences that relate to it. It kind of reminds me of that cliche "you never know what you have until its gone". Humans fail to realize how precious their lives are everyday but I bet they'll quickly realize when they're facing death. The part where O' Brien describes the nature of Vietnam really brings the scene to life and it made me think of how scary it would be to fight on such a land. I couldn't imagine it. It seemed like it would've kind of fun to be in Tim O' Brien and Azar's positions when they were messing with Jorgenson because they said they felt like the VC and the land of Vietnam. I'm sure the VC felt like they had a certain control over their enemies because of their war tactics. I could tell that Tim O' Brien was deeply hurt when he realized he was not apart of the brotherhood with Dave Jensen, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, and Azar. The war forced them to become close and work together. The ending scene just goes to show you how most of O' Briens former "brothers" view him now: Azar states that O' Brien is the "sorriest fuckin' case I ever seen" and kicks him in the head. I know that had to hurt O' Brien physically and mentally. He has lost that connection with the former brotherhood.

Chapters/Stories # 18 & 19-"Good Form" & "Field Trip"

In the story "Good Form", I agree with O' Brien when he says his invention of these stories is not a game but it's a form. It is a good form like the name of the chapter. O' Brien emphasizes the power of memory and storytelling so well. It gives me a new point of view on stories. It is amazing that the story-truth is sometimes truer than the happening-truth and how it make the happening-truth appear so vividly. The story-truth brings O' Brien's past experiences back to memory. He is brilliant for using his storytelling ability to reveal the truth, I don't think anyone else would think of that. When my friends and I tell stories, I focus on the truth and I call them out for lying about something. O' Brien makes me appreciate the story-truth and helps me understand his experiences of the Vietnam War. Stories can make things present and that's the amazing part about it if you really think about it. I think a lot of people fail to realize that, including me until I started reading this book. The stories in this book help Tim O' Brien face fears that he was scared to face twenty years ago.

The story "Field Trip" emphasizes the power of the "shit field" again. Who would have ever thought it would have so much power? O' Brien said he felt like it had swallowed his best friend, his pride, his small dignity and courage, basically his old self. Now that he goes back to visit, he feels as if he is finally his old self again and that the field has been holding him back for so long. He says that the "shit field" embodies all the waste that was Vietnam and that's what I was thinking in one of the earlier stories. It's crazy that O' Brien didn't feel like the war was over until this day that he visited the field. Maybe he felt like he had finally recovered, like his feelings had finally got untied from the war. But those memories will always be present. I think that Tim O' Brien felt he had to swim in the field because he was so deeply connected with it. His daughter Kathleen is too young to understand and it is clear to see that she doesn't value memory yet. I'm sure O' Brien can teach her how to though. I didn't really know what to make out of the old farmer and Tim O' Brien's staring at each other. I think there is some tension between the old farmer and O' Brien because of the Vietnam war and now that O' Brien feels that the war is over, so does the old farmer which is why he holds his shovel up like a flag.

Chapter/Story #17: In The Field

I found this story very interesting. It captured my attention. It helped me realize the significance of the shit field and how it represented the chaos of the war. When O' Brien refers to Kiowa's death, he refers to Kiowa being caught up in the field and the war. The experience in that field was horrifying just like the war. I understood the fact that everyone felt guilty for the death of Kiowa because it had a serious affect on all the men. I respected the fact that they felt the need to find his body because it would have been messed up for them to leave him there. I can't imagine viewing Kiowa's dead body, I know it wasn't a good sight. In the beginning of the story, O' Brien says: "The rain was the war and you had to fight the war". This is a true statement because no matter if you wanted to be involved in the war or not, if you were there you had to deal with it or die. It is a struggle for survival. This whole book reveals that in different ways. It presents difficulties, like if Lieutenant Cross actually has to write Kiowa's dad and explain how good of a boy his son was and his death. I'm sure that's something that nobody would want to have the duty of doing. I think Lieutenant Cross shouldn't be blamed for the death of Kiowa because he had no idea that field would end up taking a life. I don't think that the younger boy should be blamed either. Like O' Brien said: "it was one of those freak things, and the war was full of freaks". That sentence explains a lot. The series of sentences where O' Brien comes up with all these reasons you could blame for a man dying emphasizes the fact that they could come up with a million reasons for a man's death but at the end of the day, they have to deal with the war. The field was powerful because any moment of carelessness or bad judgment carried consequences that could last forever. Just like the war. 

Chapter/Story #15: Notes

This story further emphasizes how Norman Bowker struggled to find meaning in his post-war life. That is probably the reason that led to his decision to hang himself. Bowker states that he feels like he sank down into the sewage with Kiowa and this reveals that he does feel some guilt about letting Kiowa's boot go. I felt like he was contradicting himself when he talks about war veterans crying and whining because it seemed like he was doing the same exact thing but I can understand why. Writing helped Tim O' Brien cope with the transition from peace to war without him knowing so at first. His ability to link some of these made up stories with true experiences is incredible. That's hard to do. He explains his technique behind it: "You start sometimes with an incident that truly happened...and you carry it forward by inventing incidents that did not in fact occur but that nonetheless help to clarify and explain". I might have to start using this technique in the future. I found it ironic that Bowker hanged himself eight months after writing O' Brien stating that his story was not terrible but he left out Vietnam and the shit in the field. That story may have added to the misery of his life. I think he would be proud of the revised story, I know I enjoyed it. Also, I found it interesting that the experience of Norman Bowker and the death of Kiowa in the shit field is actually Tim O' Brien's. A reader definitely would be able to tell unless he told them. I didn't know until the end of this blog.

Chapter/Story #14: Speaking of Courage

There is definitely some repetition present in this story. Norman Bowker repeatedly drives around the lake and O' Brien repeatedly summarizes the scenery: "the man in the stalled motorboat still fiddled with his engine",  and "the two little boys were still trudging along on their seven-mile hike". I didn't get tired of hearing the same thing and I think it helped emphasize meaning. The repetition makes me think of how Bowker's life has been boring and somewhat stalled which is why he rides around the lake 8 times. It sounded so boring while I was reading it. I know the transition from war to normal life is probably a hard one and one that all soldiers have to get used to. In class today, we talked about how some soldiers can't make that transition and are forced to go back to war, well in their minds. I think it's crazy how you can go into war regretting the decision but when you come back home, you have this strong connection and feel the need to go back. I don't know whether to believe that the platoon was actually in a "shit field". I know I can't imagine actually being in that predicament. The death of Kiowa sounded horrifying and I wonder if Bowker felt any guilt for letting go of his boot. I found it interesting that O' Brien kept on referring to Bowker's words as "he would've said" but I guess that is because he was found dead. Bowker seemed to live a lonely post-war life and I felt bad for him because nobody wanted to listen to his war story that he wanted to tell so bad. I think he jumped in the lake at the end to bring back memories of the "shit field". He probably misses the times of the war but I'm sure he doesn't want to reflect on Kiowa's death. This book presents a whole new outlook on stories for me. I appreciate them more and realize how powerful some of them can be. 

Chapters/Stories #10-14: Stockings-Style

I looked up a lot of words on my dictionary app on my iPod while reading Stockings. I wanted to interact w/ the reading more and understand what I was reading. I found it funny and weird that Henry Dobbins carried his girlfriend's pantyhose around his neck before heading out on ambush. If that's what helped him survive in the war then I'm not mad at him. O' Brien mentions the pantyhose as a symbol for a spiritual world that was soft and intimate in a real world that was tough and serious. It was interesting that Dobbins came close to dying a few times and the pantyhose helped him live.

Most people don't like war, however, a war can help you explore the world which is something you may never be able to do elsewhere. Like in the story Church, when Henry Dobbins meet the monks near the Batangan Peninsula and forms a special connection with them. He mentions becoming a monk after the war. I doubt he's serious but this shows how much he likes the monks and being nice to people. The monks were very nice to the platoon. Dobbins mentions that when he was a child, he wanted to become a minister because it seemed like a good life that could bring you a "free house, free car" and "lots of potlucks". This reminds me of how I think that there are a lot of ministers and preachers and reverends out there who are in churches just for the money. That is why I'd rather learn about God and Christianity on my own. Dobbins also mentions that he wanted to be a minister just because he liked the fact that they were nice to people. This shows that he was a kindhearted man for the most part. I found the monks interesting. I am very nice like them and I could possibly enjoy their lifestyles. It may get a little boring at times though.

In the Story "The Man I Killed", I could tell that the death of the man Tim O' Brien killed really affected him. He repeatedly mentions the details of it: "His jaw was in his throat. His one eye was shut and the other was a star-shaped hole". O' Brien felt sympathy for the man and even states that he wanted to warn him about the grenade he threw. This lets readers know that he was really not meant for war. I think I would've felt the same as him after killing someone.The repetition of the description of the man's dead body emphasizes the affect it had on O' Brien. Azar repeatedly tries to talk to O' Brien but he doesn't even say anything. I found it kind of weird that O' Brien knew facts about the man's personal life. Maybe he felt so much sympathy that he wanted to get to know him so he did some research on him.

In the story Ambush, O' Brien goes into further details about how he killed the man. He mentions that his daughter asked him if he killed somebody before and he replied "of course not". O' Brien explains the story as if he was real nervous before he did the killing and how his stomach felt crazy. He was terrified and didn't really want to kill the man. He wanted him to "evaporate" so he wouldn't have to kill him. The man had nobody with him and I think this is the reason why O' Brien feels guilty for killing him. He didn't pose much of a threat but he did have a gun. O' Brien seemed as if he was amazed by the man's dead body. He mentions that he still thinks about killing the man to the day of him writing this book. He imagines the man smiling at him which emphasizes O' Brien's mindset about killing him.

Style was a story that I didn't really get much out of. I found it hard to understand why a girl would be dancing when her house has just burned down and her family just died. I can't imagine having to drag the bodies of her family out like the platoon did. It would be a horrific sight. Henry Dobbins repeatedly states that the girl just liked to danced but it's hard to imagine dancing at a time like that.

Chapter/Story #9: Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong

I found this story to be weird. For the first 10 or 15 pages, I was lost and I didn't know the significance of the story. It didn't come to me until the end. Vietnam drove Mary Ann crazy and turned her into a whole different person. This may seem bad to readers but Mary Ann is satisfied with her new self and repeatedly states that her situation is not bad. It's hard to believe that Mark Fossie went through so much to get his girlfriend to come to Vietnam. If it is true, I'm surprised that the higher ranking men of the war let him bring her. That's a major distraction. It's easy to understand how the other men got attracted to Mary Ann because they weren't seeing any other girls during war. They probably miss their girlfriends or just looking at girls period. I found the fact that Mary Ann got so involved in Vietnam interesting. She wanted Fossie to show her the land and to get a feel for how people lived. Rat Kiley said that it was "like a cheerleader visiting the opposing team's locker room". Rat Kiley found it hard to believe that Mary Ann learned so quick since she was young and innocent but he also mentions that all of the men in the military unit were the same when they first came but they learned pretty quick. You have to make adjustments if you want to survive. I also found it weird that Mary Ann was focused on the job dealing with casualties where she learned how to clip arteries and pump a plastic splint and shoot morphine. She didn't even want to go home and said that everything she wanted is in Vietnam. I think the point of this story was to emphasize that when O' Brien and others went to Vietnam, they got deeply involved which is necessary. You might spend a significant amount of time in your life there. The irony in it is that Mary Ann was a normal female who knew nothing about war who got so deeply involved in it that it is rumored that she is still somewhere in the Mountains enjoying Vietnam. War affects human nature and challenges you mentally and physically. It affected Mary Ann and changed her into a whole different person.

Chapter/Story #7: How to Tell A True War Story and #8: The Dentist

The How to Tell A True War Story required me to slow down my reading pace and actually think about O' Brien was saying. It seemed like he kept on adding new characteristic to a true war story and that confused me. First he said that a true war story is never moral and does not instruct. It's funny because the true war stories O' Brien tells kind of instruct me but I think he is saying that a true war story intentions are not to instruct. Then he went on to say a true war story is unbelievable because "it's a question of credibility" and that the crazy stuff is true but the normal stuff isn't. I find this to be true about different stories other than war stories, you always question the credibility after. O' Brien repeatedly mentions Curt Lemon's death and emphasizes how the sunlight shined on him before he died, which may be the reason why he thinks Lemon's death was beautiful. I still find that weird though. O' Brien goes on to say that it's difficult to separate what happened from what seemed to happen in any war story, especially a true one. I guess this is why it is still hard till the day he wrote this understand Curt Lemon's death. Even though it made it harder for me to understand, I liked how O' Brien kept jumping from the topic of a general true war story to actual true war stories and just war stories that he makes up. Even though Mitchell Sanders story about a six man patrol that goes up into the mountains on a basic listening-post operation. I actually believed the story at first for some odd reason and I found it amazing that the rocks and other things of nature made all these sounds. I found the fact that Rat Kiley kept shooting the baby water buffalo to be despicable and I understand that he was feeling grief  but that doesn't give him the right to shoot a innocent animal. With all the contradictions that O' Brien presents about war, I can tell that he learned to deal with war and find out its' true characteristics. I can understand how war is nasty but also fun, thrilling but also drudgery, can make you a man but also dead, and that war is "mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love". O' Brien emphasizes the fact that war makes you appreciate life more and live more. You don't realize how precious your life is until you're close to death. At the end of the story, readers can assume that the story about Curt Lemon's death is true because he compares the facts about it to the characteristics of a true war story. He calls the story of Lemon's death a love story because it provides him with a powerful memory and a love for stories that is close to timeless.



I don't really have much to say about the story "The Dentist" except that Curt Lemon is a weird character. I kind of view him as insane for enjoying pain so much. I think I would find it interesting to be in his presence and see the crazy things he does. It would be amusing.

Chapter/Story #5-Enemies & #6: Friends

I think it was a great idea for Tim O' Brien to relate the two stories Enemies and Friends. I think they show another conflict that could possibly occur during the war. In the story Enemies, Lee Strunk and Dave Jensen get into a fist fight over a missing jackknife. That's absurd. In a military unit, everyone might not trust each other and it's hard to develop trust so you're faced with having to watch your back and focus on the war. That is what happened after the fist fight with Lee Strunk and Dave Jensen. It has to be hard to manage both of those tasks. That just goes on to show you the difficulties of war. The fact that paranoia drove Dave Jensen so crazy to the point where he began firing his weapon in the air and yelling Lee Strunk's name and caused Jensen to break his nose to make things even with Strunk is crazy. I wouldn't dare break my own nose, but maybe that's how intense the pressure was. Another thing I found crazy is that Jensen and Strunk made a pack to end the others' life if they got severely injured. That makes their relationship seem weird. I actually thought Jensen was going to kill Strunk after he lost a leg but he didn't. It's good to see that they eventually got over the fight though. O' Brien continues to emphasize the difficulties of war in these stories and I'm sure he will continue throughout the book. I find it interesting and it gives readers insight. I think these stories also show how friendships could go in a war and also in real life.

Chapter/Story #4: On the Rainy River

This story emphasizes Tim O' Brien's attitude towards the Vietnam war. He felt as if the war didn't have a clear purpose and it was not worth fighting for. He also wanted to live a normal life, which was a mainstream life to him. He was drafted a month after graduating from Macalester College. He had many questions regarding the war like what really happened to the USS Maddox in the Gulf of Tonkin and was Ho Chi Minh a Communist stooge or a nationalist savior. America was divided at the time: one side for the war and the other against it. Many protests were taken to the streets. It's ironic that O' Brien felt like a coward for deciding to join the war instead of not joining. He didn't want to go to the war but he felt the pressure he could potentially face from his friends, family, and his town. He felt embarrassed for looking like a coward by not wanting to fight the war so he decided to feel like a coward, in his mind, for deciding to fight it. I think it's amazing how Elroy Berdahl encouraged O' Brien so much with his silence. It's like Berdahl almost knew Tim O' Brien's situation and wanted to help him dearly. I could understand why O' Brien didn't want to go to war, he was just reaching his 20's and he felt like he has so much life left to live. I also thought it was amazing how the Rainy River combined both O' Brien's past and future, how he imagined all those important figures in his life at the river, some cheering him on and some discouraging him. The syntax was so extending with all the and's included in the sentences that just made them go on forever. It made it more interesting and made me want to keep reading. It's crazy how the Vietnam War put so much pressure on O' Brien that it caused him to escape to Canada so he wouldn't have to bear the decision. There were times when he couldn't sleep and just lost it. I think that is why it led him to make the decision of fighting the war. He felt like he was going to let many people down if he didn't. Personally, I would have tryed to focus more on my opinion of the decision.

Chapter/Story 3: Spin

The third story is a great group of stories. It really emphasizes the power of a story and memories towards the end. I love the way it is written. It also emphasizes how Tim O' Brien and the other men in his unit found peace and happiness in such a hostile setting like the Vietnam War. O' Brien mentions how a little boy with a plastic leg asked Azar for a chocolate bar and this shows how violent the war can get but yet this little boy still has a sense of humor when he says "GI number one" and this makes Azar smile. This story also mentions how Norman Bowker and Henry Dobbins used to play checkers every evening before dark. The other boys used to enjoy watching them because the playing field was in a strict grid with no tunnels or mountains or jungles like Vietnam. Norman and Henry knew where they stood and could visibly see there enemies. We discussed in class that the Viet Cong used to be everywhere and you never knew when they would attack so this game of checkers helped the boys escape from the reality of the jungles in Vietnam. They needed some type of escape. O'Brien mentions how his memories of the events in the war turned into a rehappening which helped him write this book. He also mentions how the boys of his unit met this "old poppa-san" who guides them through the mine fields on the Batangan Peninsula and they form a close relationship with this man. The boys looked at the guiding as an adventure and learned to love the old man. They were sad when they had to leave him. O'Brien mentions how you could find yourself in more peace than ever by looking up and seeing "the sun and a few puffy white clouds" (35). It is amazing how his unit found serenity in a terrifying war. O' Brien later goes on to end the chapter with such vivid images of the war that brung out the "childlike exuberance" (37). He states the war is still very much alive and his memories help him relive the moments. He states that stories are for joining the past and the future, for eternity, the moments when your memory is erased, and just keeping things alive forever. It made me think of how powerful memories can be and how precious they are. It just made me want to remember good moments in my life.

Chapter/Story 2: Love

The second story's setting is in Tim O' Brien's home in Massachusetts. Many years have passed since the war. Jimmy Cross comes to visit Tim and they reminisce about the war. They drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, and looked at various pictures. They also discuss how Ted Lavender's death is still hard to accept and Jimmy states that he still has not forgiven himself. They reminisced about the things that they used to carry and even though the war is over, they still carried things in their lives. The war just made that weight seem heavier. They also reminisce about how much Jimmy Cross used to love Martha and Jimmy tells Tim that he ran into her at a college reunion in 1979. He tells Tim that everything was still the same and she gave him a new picture of  her playing volleyball. Jimmy still loved her and she still didn't love him.The story ends with Tim O' Brien telling Jimmy Cross that he would like to write a story about all these adventures, which is probably the group of stories that this book consists of. Jimmy tells him to make him sound like the good guy and the best platoon leader ever but don't mention a certain person. Tim already knows who he is talking about. I assume that he is talking about Ted Lavender because Jimmy feels guilty for his death.

Chapter 1-The Things They Carried

The first chapter/story was an interesting one. I liked how each character was introduced by what they carried, it was unique. It seems as if the main character is first lieutenant Jimmy Cross. In the beginning of the chapter, he is very unaware due to his daydreams and images of a girl named Martha. Its kind of foolish that Jimmy seems so obsessed with her when it is repeatedly stated that she does not feel the same way about him. At first, I predicted that he would end up dying due to his lack of awareness of surroundings but he got himself together at the end of the chapter. I'm glad he did because he definitely wouldn't have survived with the mind state he was in. Even though Jimmy Cross lacked focus the most, I'm sure all characters did. The hard thing about war is ignoring all the thoughts you have in your head about family and friends and actually focusing on the war. This is some of the weight that all the characters faced along with all the things they had to carry physically. I think Tim O' Brien emphasizes the weight that all the characters carry well by repetition and anaphora. This helped me slow down as a reader and focus on the book more. I think this chapter was a introduction to all the hardships that one has to face in war. You have to stay focused. However, characters like Mitchell Sanders have a good sense of humor and like to joke around some. I believe you have to do this to ease some of the weight like the guns, radios, ammunition as well as thoughts of girlfriends, family, and friends. Judging off of this chapter, I like O' Brien's style of writing and I think it will keep me interested throughout the book